I am filled with joy that God has brought us together
This will be my last installment of this blog. I am grateful that it does not come to you suddenly, or as the result of a reduction in staff, or because anything beyond my tenure as pastor is concluding (such as the church closing). I am grateful that we all have had time to prepare for this eventuality.
And yet, when an ending comes, as the ending of my tenure as your pastor now does, there is no glossing over the variety of feelings that attend it. Though I may be the least qualified judge, I do not believe I am one for big, flashy endings. Nor am I given to nostalgia. I feel confident that I have fulfilled the role to which God called me in September, 1995, to serve with “energy, intelligence, imagination, and love” (as one of our ordination vows goes). I feel that this is the right time, for me, for my family, for this congregation, to close one chapter and to be open to God’s next chapter for us all. And yet, I feel the inevitable grief of an ending.
My grief is twofold, it seems to me. On one hand, it is the grief of things not accomplished. Of course every pastor worth her or his salt wants to “grow the church”, whatever that might mean to each. I never felt called to interpret that as adding to the number of active members. It is easy to assume that the larger the congregation the more “successful” the ministry. But I think churches are like trees in this regard. One would not want a sequoia growing next to the front porch. And one would not want a Bonsai planted in the environment of a desert palm. One would not call it successful horticulture to plant an orange tree in Finland. Trees are created for their environment, and grow best to scale. It seems to me that my call to pastor as MBPPC has had more to do with spiritual growth. Like a broken record, I have summarized what I can offer as guidance in three basic movements of discipleship in Christ: Bible study, prayer, and service. I give thanks that so many of you have found ways to claim and grow in these three movements. I grieve that I did not find more ways to offer them.
On the other hand, my grief is simply the grief of parting friends. We have emphasized “spiritual friendships” as a goal of our ministry at MBPPC. The friendships I have found with you, and that I have had the joy of watching spring up among you, are a rich treasure in my life. Earlier this summer, I shared with a few of you that the sharpest grief I am feeling is in my friendship with the children. It is an honor to be part of people’s lives as a pastor. It is a great honor to experience that relationship with someone from their birth, and from their childhood to their young adulthood, and on into adulthood. I can see why Jesus was so adamant about welcoming children! My prayers for you all will not stop the day my service as pastor ends. My heart will be with you. And my hope is anchored in the ways these friendships will continue, though I am required to stay clear in order to allow my successor to build his or her own friendships with you.
Mostly, as. I write this, I am filled with joy that God has brought us together and given us 30 years to worship, learn, and serve. So many stories! So many times of trial and error. So many moments when it felt as though the realm of God’s love broke right into the midst of us. What a journey! What a joy!
In Christ,
Lee