From Endings to New Beginnings

When I have met with people planning to get married at MBPPC, I have used several resources in pre-marital counseling. One of these is a book by a psychologist named William Bridges — “Managing Transitions”. Bridges’ theory is that all transitions in life, whether a “good” one like getting married or a “bad” one like someone dying, involve a change in who we perceive and experience ourselves to be. For example, a person who marries experiences themselves moving past their self-concept as “single” to a new self-concept as “married”.

Bridges suggests three stages one may go through in times of transition: Ending, Losing, and Letting Go; The “Neutral Zone”; and The New Beginning. Everyone experiences these stages in their own way, and one person may experience them differently in different transitions. I want to offer a few comments about Bridges’ work as those of us who comprise the MBPPC community are about to go through the transition from my pastorate to my retirement to a new beginning.

In the Ending, Losing, Letting Go stage, it is ordinary for a person to feel some of these things: fear, denial, anger, sadness, disorientation, frustration, uncertainty,and a sense of loss. After I announced my retirement to the congregation in January, you may have felt some of these feelings. They are not comfortable feelings, and it is understandable if a person avoids them. But I would encourage us all to pay attention if and when they show up. How do they feel physically? Emotionally? Spiritually? What, exactly, feels like it is ending or being lost or let go of? It may be something other than me as your pastor. It may be a sense of who you are attached to some point in the life of the congregation. Or it may be an unrealized dream for the church during my pastorate.

In The “Neutral Zone” there can be resentment about the change, low morale or low productivity, anxiety about role or status, or skepticism that the change can lead to anything good. Some of you may be at this stage in these last couple months of my pastorate with you. Walter Brueggemann has written extensively about “Psalms of disorientation”, in which the people of Israel cried out, expressing many of these feelings. It might help to read and pray a few of these Psalms: 12, 13, 42-43, 56, 57, 71, 86.

In The New Beginning there is energy, openness to learning, and a renewed commitment to the group. I am genuinely excited for you, and for me, to experience this after I retire. A new pastor will bring a new voice, new ideas, fresh perspectives on opportunities and challenges — a new chapter in the life of MBPPC. And I trust our faithful God to supply what you need to live into this new chapter.

I will say some more about my retirement and our shared transitions during August.